Facing The Facts...

Ever wonder if you're doing the right thing? If where you are right now, is where you are supposed to be? I've been fighting with thoughts for about a month now and I'm not gonna lie, I've had enough.

Most of the time I'm the one giving you advice and tips on how I have dealt with things in the past but unfortunately I've not mastered this one yet, so I'm not going to be much help.

I find myself thinking a lot about 'what if's' which we all know is such a stupid thing to do. I often wonder what would have happened if I had passed my A Levels and gone to uni, or if I had learnt to drive years ago, all of which are pretty harmless things. However, recently I've been thinking about other things, some of which are pretty big things, life-changing things.

Without going into too much detail, I just imagine what my life would be like if a few things changed and worryingly I think I'd be happier. Only problem is is that I'm scared to make a change.

I wonder if any of my readers have been through this? Or if you are currently? All that I can say is that I truly believe that things will happen if they are supposed to, so hang in there :')

Anyway, sorry if that was depressing, in other news... I've been missing for quite a good chunk of this month haven't I? I'm sorry for that!
Let me catch you up...

On the 9th of May, I traveled to Nottingham to take part in a Warhammer tournament and was there for the weekend. It was awesome! I always love going to Warhammer World, the atmosphere is amazing and you meet really lovely people there. For those of you who are sat staring at you screens wondering what the fuck I'm going on about, it's okay! I don't expect you to know what Warhammer is, it's a table-top game and only for nerds ;)

Apart from that, I've not really been up to much other than working. The only other exciting thing to tell you about is that I have finally bought my learner driving course and my Theory test is on the 11th of June! So that is underway at last!! :)

I hope you're all doing amazingly and that you're having fun in the sunshine! I promise that in June I will go back to doing weekly posts.
Thanks for reading,
Charlotte xxx

The Magic Of Mindfulness

So, I recently read a magazine article on the practice on mindfulness and decided to give it a try. Based on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness in meditation, it is the focusing of attention and awareness. Now don't worry if you are religious, although this comes from Buddhist roots, mindfulness is often taught independently of religion so you can still give it a try!
Put into layman's terms, mindfulness essentially gives your brain a rest and it can ease feelings of stress and anxiety.

The aim of mindfulness is to teach you to focus your brain on tuning out distractions and it claims that the easiest way to do this is a five or ten minute breathing exercise in the morning. In quite a similar setting to meditation, the idea is to sit with a straight, relaxing back and feet flat on the floor. Gazing straight ahead or with eyes closed, bring your attention to your breathing and wherever you feel it most. When thoughts crop up, which they undoubtedly will, refocus your mind onto your breath.
The great thing about this is that there isn't a specific way in which you have to do it. Experiment with the time of day that works best for you. Which room do you prefer to do it in? How long can you last before deciding what's for tea really can't wait any longer?

At first I will admit that this was impossible for me to do for longer than about 30 seconds but it does get easier and I can definitely notice the health benefits. The thing to remember is to just take it at your own pace, start at 2 minutes and build it up.

Some other ideas you can try, if you're finding the meditation-type mindfulness difficult, are:

• Have a mindful shower- Focus on the warmth of the water, and appreciate the smells of your soaps and shampoos.
• Take time to enjoy your lunch- Eat slowly, enjoy the tastes and focus on what you're eating rather than checking your computer or phone. 
• Savour a cup of tea and just relax. 
• Before you go to sleep as you lie in bed do a mental tour of your body. Focus on different feelings and areas of tension, imagine your breath soothing them. Doing this can lead to a better nights sleep! 

So there you have it :) I hope you enjoyed this and that it was helpful! Let me know if you try it and if it works for you. 

Thanks for reading,
Charlotte xx

Anxiety.. You Can Control It.

There are hundreds of different types of anxiety but lets face it.. They're all crap. And, as a matter of fact they ALL stem from the same place; thinking too much.

Now before I get too far into this subject I want to say that no, I do not have any special qualifications nor am I a councilor so everything I am going to say here is from my own experiences. Ok, now that's out the way, lets get started :)

None of us want to admit it but most of our anxieties are our own creations, we make them up in our minds and let them become bigger than we ever wanted them to. It's a horrible thing to admit, that we do this to ourselves, but the fact that we do is actually a good thing; it means that we can rewrite those thoughts and make them into something less scary and more useful.

As anxiety sufferers we definitely feel as though anxiety runs the show and dictates what we can and can't do. Whether it's leaving the house, making that important phone call or trusting someone close to us; anxiety helps us to manifest the worst scenario and stops us from even contemplating doing the most simple of tasks. The most important thing to remember is that it doesn't have to be like that and that you DO have the power to tell your anxiety where to get off!

A little bit of anxiety is human, it helps us to distinguish between things we are comfortable with and those we aren't, but some of us let our anxieties run into every aspect of our lives and that's when it's time to stand up.

Anxiety is most common in those with creative minds but do not use that creativity to it's fullest potential. By doing this you are giving your mind the opportunity to use all that beautiful brain power in other ways, e.g. over-thinking EVERYTHING. So, the best advice I can give you to conquer your little anxiety demon is too drown it with creativity. You have to keep busy ALL THE TIME. And not just by doing the housework or by going food shopping because that doesn't engage your mind, you have to do something that completely blocks out any thoughts other than those that are focused on the task at hand. Learn an instrument, write/read an engaging book, design your own spaceship, create some handmade jewellery, do some baking, redesign your entire house, start a blog.. The list is endless and all of these things require creativity and complete concentration on your behalf.
The key is to not let your brain have ANY time whatsoever in which it can wander onto damaging thoughts. 

A lot of people who suffer anxiety find it useful to plan out their days. Doing this means that you shouldn't have any time during your day in which you're just standing around, staring into space, and therefore doesn't give you any time to over-think.
If you spend a lot of your day at a dull, uninteresting job this can be the time where anxiety strikes hardest. However, again the secret is to not let your mind wander. Either focus ridiculously hard on your work and make yourself do it to the best of your ability so that your completely absorbed by the task, or think about your new creative outlet that you have going on at home; come up with new designs and plans, research new recipes, try out your ideas on your colleagues. Just don't get into trouble!

One of the most important things is that you absolutely have to admit that the reason you have anxiety is because you put it there. I'm aware that that may be hard to hear, some of you may have had horrible events occur that you believe triggered your anxiety, and that may very well have been the case, however the event itself would not have been the cause, your reaction to the event was. You see, as long as you believe that you're not the cause, the longer your anxiety will control you, once you admit that you are the reason behind your anxious thoughts you can immediately regain control over your anxiety demon.

STICK TO IT. It will be hard and you will have bad days where you think that all your hard work has been for nothing but trust me, choose to change and stick to it. Imagine anxiety as a snowball (bare with me). Anxiety can be triggered by one sentence, sometimes even a word, and this is where it starts, as a pea-sized snowball. The more you dwell on it and think about it the bigger your snowball gets, rolling down a hill and getting bigger by the second until you have no room in your head for anything other than your snowball and you essentially get a metaphorical avalanche. When you become aware of an anxious thought popping into your head, kill it immediately. Actually say to yourself, "NO" and then consciously focus your thoughts onto something else. You have to have conviction and you have to work at it EVERY single second of the day. Stopping the bad thoughts and swapping them for good ones. It's hard work but it will get easier and pretty soon you'll be doing it without even realising it.

The last point I have is to do with medication, particularly if you are on anti-depressants for your anxiety. I want you to know that you don't need them. You are completely capable of conquering this without the need for meds, and you will feel so much better for doing it on your own. Let me ask you this? Have you ever actually looked at the little sheet that comes with your medication? The one that says that the side effects of your anti-depressant meds is depression and suicidal thoughts? I'm not a doctor so I'm not encouraging you to bin your anxiety related meds however, what I am saying is by tackling these issues on your own you will soon find little need for them and be shocked by how much they're hindering your progress as apposed to helping. I suppose what I'm getting at is, if you are yet to be offered anti-depressants I strongly advise that you think long and hard about it as it's very easy to become reliant on the pills and you are less likely to be willing to help yourself.

Simply put, in order to control your anxiety you need to:

1. Admit that you're the cause. 
2. Decide, with conviction, to make a change. Choose to fill your life with creative outlets and fulfilling distractions. 
3. Stick to it, no matter how hard it gets. 

Please don't think that I am trying to have a go at you, because I truly am not. I know that some of you may feel attacked or that I don't understand what you're going through or else I wouldn't be saying the things I have. Let me remind you that I, myself, have anxiety and have had it for about 6 years. All these tips and tricks are what have gotten me to where I am today, where I am finally able to keep my anxiety under control. I'm sorry if I have offended anyone but to those of you who are able to see the sense in what I have said, I sincerely hope that this helps you. Please feel free to ask any questions and approach me with any messages at all.

For those of you who are interested, here is a post I did earlier this month about GETTING POSITIVE IN 2014.


Thank you for reading and I'll see you all soon,
Charlotte xx